Whether you’re a salesperson, graphic artist, financial advisor, etc., all self-employed persons share a similarity: your income fluctuates, and there are always the occasional dry spells. These can be stressful, since you often don’t know when – or even if – your income will recover. The difference between those who ultimately succeed, and those who falter, lies in how well they handle such downturns. If you’re in the midst of such a situation, here are some key coping tips to get you through it:
It’s certainly true that a positive outlook is vital, in seeing you through tough times. However, be careful not to go overboard, and into the realm of denial.
Positive thinking means staying confident the situation can improve, while staying realistic: you will still prepare resumes in case you need a last-ditch job, and you’ll cut spending or speak to your family about needed changes. It also means being honest with the way you feel: there’s no need to put on a brave face, and deny that the situation could be better.
Denial, on the other hand, is an insistence on carrying on as if nothing was wrong. An example of this is refusing to cut spending, and going ahead with major plans like expensive vacations. People in denial may even feel that, by cutting back on their goals and admitting failures, they are “betraying” their positive outlook.
The greatest danger of denial is that it may stop you seeking help. If you keep insisting that “everything is great”, there’s a higher probability you won’t turn to mentors, look for counselling, or take practical steps to improve your situation (e.g., if everything is great, why change what you’re doing?)
Another potential hazard is a phenomenon known as toxic positivity. This is when you repress your anxiety, instead of addressing it – such as when you insist on laughing off your dwindling finances, or snap at family who tell you it’s time to look for a back-up job.
Because toxic positivity leads to self-alienation and stress, it could actually impede your work, and worsen your situation. In essence, your mind devotes so much time and energy to distracting itself from the problem, that you have trouble focusing on the quality of your work. Over time, it can also drive you to distract yourself through methods like excessive drinking and gambling.
So do be honest when times are bad, and bring it up to loved ones, mentors, or work associates whom you trust. Keep looking for ways to improve your situation, and trust that even bad times must end; but slip into denying reality.
If you’re out of job prospects, and can’t seem to acquire new leads, it’s time to go over your contacts list.
Look through past clients whom you’ve worked for, and text, email, or even meet them for lunch. Past clients are the most ignored source of warm leads: these are people who already know you, and are (assuming you made a good impression!) more inclined to work with you than a stranger.
Besides, you never know how those clients have progressed themselves over the years – some may now be in higher positions, have better incomes, or may be in a place to help promote your brand.
The key is to be sincere when contacting them: most people can sense when others have ulterior motives. You probably can too: if an old friend calls you out of the blue, you probably suspect that they want to sell you something, borrow money, have you join their MLM, etc.
So when you’re re-connecting, do it with the aim of truly wanting to meet up and be interested in their lives. But make sure you do it, rather than just moping about the lack of current prospects.
Even if it’s as tiny as someone giving you a callback, do congratulate yourself on it. You may not make a sale or land a new project just because of it, but it is definitely a step closer than before.
You may want to create a daily or weekly achievements roster, to track these small wins. These can be as simple as:
● Getting work done (e.g., sent at least a dozen emails today)
● Receiving a compliment
● Helping out an associate or friend
● Keeping to your budget or workout routine for the week
● Seeing or hearing your name mentioned, in a positive way
These small victories are important in difficult times, as they remind you that you continue to move forward every day. Without such reminders, it’s easy to see the “big wins” as being out of reach, or your past accomplishments as lost or irrecoverable.
Besides small wins, you can also revisit past wins, and consider where you were at the time. Examples could be past awards won, big projects you thought were beyond you, or milestones you reached after long struggles.
When you reflect on past wins, you might remember how dire or difficult times were back then – and yet, those bad times did end, and you made it through. The current downturn is no different: it’s just one more bend on a long road.
One of the worst things you can do is to exaggerate or dramatise how bad your situation is. An example of this is internal dialogue, about how you’re going to end up broke and alone, or how you “can never show your face again” due to failure.
This is a form of cognitive distortion known as magnification. An example of this is when a client asks why your fees are so high, and you respond with panicked thoughts such as “they must think my work is lousy”, or “they will tell all their friends I’m terrible and overpriced”. Whereas in reality, the client may just be asking a simple question; they may be more than ready to accept the reason.
We are more likely to engage in this sort of behaviour when we’re stressed or anxious; like during a dry spell in our career. If you find yourself doing this, it’s time to sit down and write down everything that’s frustrating you.
Out of all the issues you can identify, which are pressing emergencies right now, and which are minor drawbacks or inconveniences? For example, a client who postpones a meeting is not a “major emergency”, it’s just a momentary inconvenience.
A big part of building mental resilience is avoiding magnification. It means cultivating a habit where you distinguish between real emergencies (e.g. my house is on fire) versus small setbacks (e.g., I think client X might not want to buy right now).
No, we’re not saying you can warp reality at will; but you can mentally set boundaries and milestones, in a way that won’t leave you in a perpetual panic.
For example: say your income has dropped from $6,000 to $2,000 a month, due to Covid-19. It’s fair if you want to identify this as a crisis, which you need to ride out.
However, you know an amount you can safely live on is $4,000 a month. In this case, you can set a milestone, and agree that you’ll declare the crisis over once you reach $4,000 a month.
Granted, it’s still not as high as it used to be. However, you are stable at that point, and the rest of it is just slowly building back up. From $4,000 a month onward, it’s time to ease off the panic button (see point 4).
This may seem like a small thing to do, but it has tremendous benefits to your resilience and health. When you don’t call an end to the crisis, and live in such a (self-imposed) state for many months or even years, it causes chronic stress. Your body and mind are not meant to live under such conditions for prolonged periods.
With prolonged stress, you will lose elements such as energy, creativity, and confidence – all of which are needed to fully recover from a downturn. So do set a clear, realistic boundary on when your emergency is officially over.
At Exodus Capital, all our mentors have decades of experience in helping Financial Advisors get ahead – both in good times and in bad. Whether you’re a fresh graduate struggling in a tough market, or a seasoned veteran looking to recapture your drive, we have the tools you need. Reach out to us today, so we can help.
